August 2

-Reading into "Happy birthday" and "merry Christmas" texts
-Crazy that there was toothpaste on my chin until noon
-Choosing the cheapest Sovereign Blanc after pretending to carefully study the wine list
-Diplo wants us to know he's a good dad huh
-Having the Xanax in my bag is almost as satisfying
-Sandwiched in between two first dates at my birthday dinner
-I feel slightly better knowing that his girlfriend used the incorrect "your"
-Now realizing how depressed I was working on LaurenConrad.com
-Chewed an entire pack of gum then googled potential side effects