Breakdown

Ripping off the last bits of my gel manicure in a cab last week even though they tell you not to do that. Not the part about the cab but yeah I was just trying to let them ‘breathe’. Or maybe it was about exposing myself to more oxygen through any means possible. I wonder if they were like “THANK YOU” or perhaps something more subtle I can’t imagine my nails yelling like that. But now they’re growing back at half the rate and it feels like the only way to preserve their strength is to keep smothering them with a false sense of it.

Because the moment you give them a chance to realize they’re alone again, that’s when they’ll lose it. What I mean is without their protective ‘shellac’ they might grow for a little while but don’t mistake their length for strength. Because eventually they’ll break(down) and it will likely be abrupt and just when you thought they (you?) were making progress. It could take several weeks to get them feeling back to how they did before any of this began. Sometimes it takes longer than you’d imagine it ever could so try for patience if you can. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Let them break and rebuild until they’re ready for the next round of self destruction disguised as self care.