Doors

The back door doesn’t close on its own you have to tug at it. Nothing too forceful just enough to close the gap it helps if it’s cold out but remember how swollen everything felt last summer? Beads of sweat in all of my least favorite spots like behind my knees the cup of my palms any place where skin could touch skin. I almost forget what that type of heat feels like every winter doing its best to overshadow. This year’s cold feels different don’t you think? More unforgiving or maybe that’s just me projecting. The way an avenue can feel miles long like it’s growing and stretching as best it can to spite you. Let me make this about me. You lingered at the front door like the last time like the time before that how was anyone supposed to know the difference. What I mean is how was I supposed to know the difference. Feels better if we blame it on the group though. Something like avoidance but more like blending in I’m not sure if I’ve already lost you. One of us bends down the other one leans in is one more effort than the other? I think it depends on where you’re standing. The difference is as significant as you make it. As you want it to be? Remind me. They told me I look tired isn’t that something you should only think never say? Maybe I’m wrong tell me I’m wrong. I don’t need a vacation just a reason to stay.